Thursday, January 24, 2008

House Leaders, White House Reach Deal on Economic Stimulus Package

YAY!!

Surely this will pass in the Senate as well. As this is good news and all, I have a better idea.

(of course heh heh)

How about this:

JUST LET US KEEP MORE OF OUR MONEY TO BEGIN WITH!!!

Say I make $1200.00 every two weeks.....let me keep $900.00 or $1,ooo of that instead of 750.00.

Doesn't that make more sense?

(let me know what you think in the comments section)




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Angry Employee Deletes All of Company's Data:


Um...oops.

Sorry, I didn't mean it....can I have my job back?


As Carlos Mencia would say:


DEE-DUH-DEE!!!




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It's No Dud: Bomb Squad Disposes of Live Rocket on Display in Veterans' Museum:


Oh, lovely.


Mommy, look at this!!

Honey don't tou-----KABOOM!!!

Uh yeah....this could have ended really bad methinks.




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To end this weeks blog a little poem:
(thanks to Big John)
A drunk man in an Oldsmobile
They said
had run the light
That caused the six-car pileup
On 109 that
night.
When broken bodies lay about
"And blood was everywhere,"
"The sirens screamed out eulogies,"
For death was in the
air.
"A mother, trapped inside her car,"
Was heard above the
noise;
Her plaintive plea near split the air:
"Oh, God, please
spare my boys!"
She fought to loose her pinned hands;
"She
struggled to get free,"
But mangled metal held her fast
In grim
captivity.
Her frighte ned eyes then focused
"On where the back
seat once had been,"
But all s he saw was broken glass and
Two
children's seats crushed in.
Her twins were nowhere to be
seen;
"She did not hear them cry, "
"And then she prayed they'd
been thrown free, "
"Oh, God, don't let them die! "
Then firemen
came and cut her loose, "
"But when they searched the back,
"They found therein no little boys, "
But the seat belts were
intact.
They thought the woman had gone mad
"And was traveling
alone, "
"But when they turned to question her, "
They discovered
she was gone.
Policemen saw her running wild
And screaming above
the noise
"In beseeching supplication, "
Please help me find my
boys!
They're four years old and wear blue shirts;
"Their jeans
are blue to match.""
"One cop spoke up, ""They're in my car,
And they don't have a scratch.
They said their daddy put them
there
" And gave them each a cone, "
Then told them both to wait
for Mom
To come and take them home.
"I've searched the area high
and low, "
But I can't find their dad.
"He must have fled the
scene, "
"I guess, and that is very bad."
"The mother hugged the
twins and said, "
"While wiping at a tear, "
"He could not flee
the scene, you see, "
"For he's been dead a year."
"The cop just
looked confused and asked, "
"Now, how can that be true? "
"The
boys said, ""Mommy, Daddy came "
"And left a kiss for you."" "
He
told us not to worry
"And that you would be all right, "
And then
he put us in this car with
"The pretty, flashing light. "
"We
wanted him to stay with us, "
"Because we miss him so, "
"But
Mommy, he just hugged us tight "
And said he had to go.
He said
someday we'd understand
"And told us not to fuss, "
"And he said to
tell you, Mommy, "
"He's watching over us."
The mother knew
without a doubt
"That what they spoke was true, "
"For she
recalled their dad's last words, " " I will watch over you."
The
firemen's notes could not explain
"The twisted, mangled car,
And how the three of them escaped
Without a single
scar..
"But on the cop's report was scribed, "
"In print so very
fine, "
An angel walked the beat tonight on Highway 109.
Have a good weekend!
**************************************
Angels exist but some times, since they don't all have wings, we call
them FRIENDS.
********************
D C











Thursday, January 10, 2008

U.S. Rains 40,000 Pounds of Bombs on Al Qaeda Targets in Northern Iraq

Good, keep up the great work over there!
Guess what Al Qaeda, YOU ARE LOSING.....period. It's almost to the point where there is nowhere for you to run. finito. El Done-o.
Anyone else care to test the resolve of the American people and our military?
Anyone? Hello?
Thought not.
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Golf Channel Anchor Suspended for Tiger Woods 'Lynch' Comment:
Hey, I know....why don't we take all this energy and put it to something useful...like I don't know... feeding hungry kids!?!?!?!?!?
Good lord can we get off the PC crap. If we spent as much time and energy helping kids as we do worrying about some stupid ass comment some chick golf commentator made about some guy who chases a little white ball around for a living, the world would be a better place.
*******************
Polish Man Finds Wife Working in Brothel:
Okay.......I guess if I was her my first question to him would be,
"What are YOU doing here."
But that's just me.
****************
Provocative Mayor Asked to Resign at Oregon Town Meeting:
With a Mayor that looks like this, I'd probably even go to a town meeting or two!!
**************
Shrimper Accused of Throwing Kids Off Bridge Expected in Court:
I would venture to say Alabama has the death penalty, and you are going to FRY dude.
WTF is wrong with you? You throw your kids off a bridge?
If I could get to Alabama, I'd pick your Vietnamese ass up and throw your foriegn piece of shit ass off the same bridge.
Anybody who reads this and is NOT for the death penalty, needs to rethink that stance.
This piece of crap just threw four kids, HIS KIDS, off an 80 ft high bridge.
I don't want to pay for him to stay on the friggin' planet. No one should have to pay for him to stay on the friggin' planet.
Fry his ass and throw him to the 'gators down there.
That is all.
****************
Everybody have a good weekend!!!!
D C
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Monday, January 07, 2008

I'M BACK!!!

WHEW!!
Hope everybody had a great holiday!!
We headed North (Rebecca and I and her son Dillon) to Iowa for X-mas.
We went to my Dad's for his X-mas, then X-mas Eve we did my Moms X-mas and went to my grandma's and saw all the couisins and everybody.
We got to go out Saturday night the 22nd for some some adult fun, and of course it ended up being blizzard conditions. The taxi ride home was a riot, Rebecca was none to pleased about it though. heh heh.
Okay well a lot has happened (or not happened) no bowl game to look forward to this year for our beloved black and gold, the basketball team is struggiling (to be expected) and just when we thought we were back on top of the wrestling world, Okie State comes in and whoops us.
Crap!!
And how about some crazy weather, today Jan. 7th here in K C we have TORNADO WATCHES out!
It's 65 degrees right now!!
Unreal.
We had the Iowa Caucuses or as El Rushbo likes to call them, "The hawkeye cauceye"
heh heh.
Okay, just wanted to let everyone know I'm back, I'll have a full blown blog this week at some point, with all the smart ass commentary you've come to love and enjoy.
D C
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